Tea with D’Agostino (let’s not talk about theatre) – National Theatre of the World

by Melissa D’Agostino

Twice in one week! Let’s just say I like to talk and I like to tea.  So I’m back with another installment of Tea with D’Agostino.

Today I talk with The National Theatre Of The World: a fresh theatre company intent on creating captivating live theatre through the art of improvisation. The company currently produces Impromptu Splendor, The Carnegie Hall Show, and a weekly romantic serial, The Soaps.

They are currently performing The Script Tease Project at Theatre Passe Muraille, where commissioned playwrights offer them two pages of a script and they improvise the rest. Playwrights include John Patrick Shanley, Daniel MacIvor and Hannah Moscovitch, to name a few.

I sat down with core members Matt Baram, Naomi Snieckus, and Ronald Pederson for some tea and company.

On The Menu: Montreal Bagels, Hummus, Brie, Berries, Gluten Free Cookies

The Teas: Cream of Earl Grey and Long Life Oolong.

Workaholics and Pizza

Matt: It’s been non-stop for Naomi.  It’s been exhausting watching her work.

Ron: Yes, but that’s a disorder.

Naomi: It’s a disorder? It might be a disorder.  I do come from a father who is definitely a workaholic, so–

Matt: Donald Trump; that’s a disorder.  Einstein: disorder.  The work ethic.

Ron: You think? I don’t think Einstein had an insane work ethic.

Matt: I think he was the guy who was like: I’m not even going to take time to pick out my clothes so all I’m thinking about is—

Melissa: Oh yeah.

Ron: Oh right.  He doesn’t have a clock—he doesn’t have a clock in his studio—or is that Thomas Edison? That’s Thomas Edison.  He didn’t have a clock because he didn’t want to know what time it was while he worked.

Matt: There was that guy who wrote music in prison—he wrote a whole album because he asked to be put into solitary confinement–

Naomi: Right.  He got stuff done.

Matt: –so that time wouldn’t be a concern.

Melissa: I need that.  What’s the modern-day equivalent of solitary confinement?

Matt: Yes—no stimulus whatsoever.

Naomi: You should do that as a hotel and get people to pay you.

Melissa: Yes!

Naomi: Give me your cell phone and your computer.  See you in a week and you’ll give me your play…and I’ll give you a pizza—you have food brought to you.

Melissa: Ha.  I’ll give you a pizza. That’s your reward.

Matt: That’s our byline —  ‘We give you a pizza’

Things that should be free

Matt: What’s this tea, here?

Melissa: (as Matt sips) It’s Earl Grey with some vanilla in it–Cream of Earl Grey.

PAUSE

Melissa: (off of Matt’s expression) How do you feel about it, Matt?

Matt: Well, it’s quite floral, Melissa.  You set up an expectation of vanilla…

Ron: I can smell vanilla.

Melissa: Thank you, Ron. Matt, you seem a little bit—

Matt: It’s perfume-y.  It’s a bit—

Ron: Vanilla perfume-y?

Matt: Hmmm.

Ron: It smells like waffles.  It’s vanilla.

Matt: It’s rose.  It’s rose and vanilla.

Ron: It’s Earl Grey and Vanilla.

Melissa: There’s probably some kind of floral in there, yes. Do you want me to contact David’s Tea and inquire about it?

Matt: (quite a reaction) Is it David’s Tea?

Melissa: Yes it is.  (Off of his expression) Are you upset?

Naomi: What do you—why do you have an issue with him?

Matt: So what is he supposing? What is he selling you—that he grows these herbs? He’s a mix-ologist? What is his service–

Ron: A mix-ologist?

Matt: What is his service?

PAUSE

Melissa and Naomi: Tea.

Ron: He sells tea. He’s a tea salesman.

Matt: It’s just next to selling air…to me.  Like selling oxygen.

Naomi: Really? No.

Melissa: What about coffee? Do you feel that way about coffee?

Naomi: You mean water—that’s like water.

Ron: But you can trade tea—this country was built on—North America would be nowhere without tea.

Naomi: It’s not—if there was a water store, like a store that just served water that would be like selling air.  Or if there was an air place like—well—they used to have the oxygen bars.

Ron: Yes, they have oxygen bars.

Matt: Tea should be free.

Naomi: What? That doesn’t—

Melissa: How should tea be free?

Naomi: This is very controversial.

Matt: It should be a right.  I’m telling you. It should be available to everyone for free in the same way water is available to everyone for free.

Ron: Why? I don’t understand why.

Matt: Because it grows naturally.

Ron: So does corn.

Melissa: Yeah.

Ron: So, everything’s free? Fruit is free.

Naomi: Yeah—everything’s free now.

Matt: No.  Corn needs attention; it needs cultivation…

Ron: So does tea.

Melissa: Yeah—you don’t –David doesn’t just go out into the fields and scoop up tea, right?

Ron: And again—he’s blended it and he has worked on it—

Matt: Yeah, he’s put his name on it.

Ron: Del Monte puts their name on things—

Naomi: I think if this goes onto the Internet you’re going to stir up some big shit.

Matt: This will be the most provocative Praxis post ever.

Ron: –or the most full of shit.

(Laughter)

Matt: I don’t mind shutting down David’s Tea.

Naomi: Why? Why would you—

Matt: Also cheese should be free.

Nonsense and Platitudes:

Naomi: I was on set yesterday and they had an original Marilyn Monroe calendar.

Melissa: Wow.

Naomi: I know.  They had it shrink-wrapped and I thought it was interesting. She was naked.

Melissa: Like…totally naked?

Naomi: Yeah, it was her centerfold thing. It was an original.

Ron: Right.

Matt: Would you ever do a naked centerfold?

Naomi: Are you asking me to do a centerfold?

Matt: Um…okay.

Naomi: Would you?

Matt: Would I ever—if I got my body to a place where I felt I was—

Naomi: –what if I said—

Matt: –very confident—

Naomi: What if I said, ‘Don’t worry about it; I’m going to Photoshop it and make you look fantastic?’

Matt: Well then why don’t you just do it now?

Naomi: Just Photoshop you?

Matt: Photoshop my head onto a gorgeous body.

Naomi: You know it’s going to be all over the Internet, right?

Matt: That’s going to be the visual component for this blog post, is a Photo-shopped centerfold of Matt Baram. Ron?

Naomi: Would you ever do a centerfold?

Ron: No.

Naomi: Have you?

Ron: Nope.

Naomi: Have you ever?

Matt: What about a calendar for cancer?

Naomi: Yeah, you’d do that for cancer.

Melissa: Like Calendar girls—you could do your own version—

Naomi: (laughing) National Theatre of the World presents—hahaha—with, like lemons—we should!

Melissa: You’d get picked up by Mirvish.

Matt: Well…think about it.  Right now there’s Calendar Girls, and Women Fully Clothed—which has nothing to do with nudity but their title suggests it, and the Script Tease Project, and isn’t there that movie out with Kim Cattrall where she was a—

Melissa: –a hooker? She used to be a prostitute.

Naomi: Did she really?

Matt: Or a stripper—not in real life—in the movie.

Matt: I think it’s a stripper.

Naomi: I’m going to say this out loud…

DRAMATIC PAUSE

Naomi: … I think sex sells.

Melissa: Ooh.

Matt: Is that what you’re saying? Is that what you figured out?

Naomi: You heard it here first, folks.

Matt: Amazing.

Naomi: Tea should be for free and sex sells.

Ron: Nonsense and platitudes. That should be the title of this.

Melissa: Nice.  I will steal that.
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You can catch The Script Tease Project at Theatre Passe Muraille until Sunday May 29^th.  For tickets click here, and click here for more information.

Melissa D’Agostino is an award-winning actor, writer, singer and producer.  She also likes tea. Check her out at www.melissadagostino.net.